Friday, April 9, 2010

Take this at face(book) value

My goal of actually posting anything on this blog is obviously not. being. met.
Mostly, this is facebook's fault. Like everyone else in the world, I signed up for facebook. Sure, I posted a few photos at the beginning - maybe even a status update. When I'm feeling crazy, I might even comment on someone else's status update. But here is the reality:

Seriously. I really do. I'll get it on it everyday - sometimes more than once, get pissed off, be annoyed at what people have written, swear that I'm going to close my account, and then......get back on the next day. All the while, saying to myself, that my energy could be spend on writing on my blog. And my energy could really be spent on that. Lots and lots of energy. So, I think it's time that someone gives me a slap in the face(book) and I call it quits. But first, let me get some thoughts about facebook off of my chest.......

1. Friending is shady business and a little junior high school. I have "friends" that I haven't seen in 15 years and that I still don't communicate with since we've been "reconnected" - (thanks facebook for the "reconnection" - waiting for you to email me my warm and fuzzies). If I only had my actual "real life" friends on facebook - then it would say "Chalubee has 10 friends".
That is a sad reality, but I'm pretty sure that most of these people would show up at my funeral.
The rest of my facebook "friends"? They would still think I was alive and well and reading their status updates. I think I should put something in my will that requires someone to update my status to "deceased" - that would be great. And then people could comment about being sad (or thrilled, as the case may be), or just generally surprised like "Hey, I didn't know you died! That sucks!" And facebook would be too busy to delete my account and I could be immortal on the internet. I think a profile picture of my casket would be awesome.

2. Facebook should be called "Twofaced-book". You know you don't like half of the people you have "friended" or accepted requests from. And you are probably saying all kinds of rude stuff about them, behind their back, and not to their face(book). Or...maybe that's just me.

3. People are fucking retarded. And I apparently needed to be reminded of this at least once a day. Really, 99% of status updates are just word farts. Christ. I just shake my head at most of them.

4. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. And this, my friends, is where I get totally screwed. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY. So, I don't. And that's why I don't have any status updates.

But I could be posting all kinds of mean crap on my blog....

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